I'm confused

Joyfull from the Mountain top

Regretting the dissension

And I am nervous,

And scared.

Wish this was easier

...too tired to write about today except for that it was lots of fun, very very busy, and very very long my head hurts now goodnight

 

 

 

It is all in vain

Irrational, romantic, contradicting, self-sacrificing,

My sacrificing, against me

Just as snow falls into the rain, mixing a shivering grey

My feelings become entangled, and intermixed

The best for you is better; it’s not mine to alter

I find myself not jutting into anti-life, but simply one not my own

As you pay your quarter, a fly drops in from the atmosphere

To buzz and pester its way into accomplishment

But then.

My concepts persist, perhaps shallow minded but nonetheless

Existing in my brain inescapably, crawling like worms and beetles slowly

Decaying, rotting, and corrupting my thoughts

It is still self-evident from me

By offering yourself

You are sacrificing a friend

 

So today was a bit more interesting than the last

Church in the morning, ate out at Senco

 

Chilled around the house, messed on the computer, played guitar and cleaned a little till 5-6ish. Went to Jessie’s to find Kristin, but alas, she wasn’t home so me and Jessie just watched Forrest Gump instead. And now I’m back on the computer wasting more time I could be sleeping. I’m pretty excited about tomorrow though. Should be a good day If I’m not too tired from workouts or my truck doesn’t break down somewhere in Winston.

 

A leave you with more archived xanga work

Enjoy and goodnight!

 

These blank pages speak to me

Silently whispering their lives

Their dreams and love, and hopes

For better days ahead

And stories of past lives

With all of it’s unsaid lies

 

The deficit is overwhelming

Explosion of nostalgia

And endless tides of memories

Dripping from my tongue

Corroding my skin

To change yourself

And all that is present

 

The water bleeds down my back

And rushes over my shoulders

It runs through me, porous

I’m glowing in abstract.

Transparent snow flakes and my transparent flesh

It bleaches me clean, an erosion, corrosion

As an acid,

Creating my blank canvas

 

Like a skeleton, flesh

My pattern is lost

No prints, or identity

Filling the divots in my skin

The lines, the ridges and scratches

Are all filled in.

Hide away my scars

Create something smooth

And seemingly errorless

 

Just like this paper - repainted in words

Swiped of its self, cleaned and packaged

Blank and empty, lonely, surrounded by mechanics

And cold plastic

 

Wash me clean and forget my pain

Numb my soul with your static face

Rinse me of your dying faith

I want to be controlled, so let it rain

 

And when your feeling all alone,

Don’t worry, you’ll surly move on

Forget the patterns of life

And wash me with your rain.

 

 

ehh, I never liked the last two paragraphs/stanzas

 

I've recently discovered I really like Coldplay...odd

Also, whenever I reload this page it goes into weird html code for half a second...and sadly, I understand most of it. (Thank you Harvey)

 

So let’s see just how uneventful my day was.....

 

Woke up 9ish? Took a shower...I don't know why...then ate some fruity pebbles that I secretly snuck into the house yesterday. *Dad's a cereal Nazi* 

Little while later, I went with my brother and Dad to the grandparent’s house to help irrigate some flowerbeds. It was actually a quite complicated procedure. Ate lunch there and returned to Mocksville around 3. Then for the next several hours I stared at a computer monitor and played guitar.

<break> Eat supper </break>

Then back to computer and guitar

It's currently 10:15 and so guitar would be too loud for the sleeping parents but I continue to listen to music and waste time in this conflaged contraption.

 

I enjoy this..."blogging" thing but Mindsay is so ugly. At least my words on mindsay are ugly. I would much rather write something with some eye-catching qualities. Unfortunately I only have the brain capacity to write my daily agenda...nothing worth looking at twice.

 

To beautify my mindsay...

 

 

"Smoking glass"

Her pale complexion reveals her pale consensus

Like painted glass, white trim and necklace

A feminine touch, she lights a match

Curls her lip, and makes it smack

The inhaling of smoke fills a hollow lung

You build up a shell while I build up my bomb
She’s a society girl, eye shadow institution

Not half as hollow as her own resolution

She’s society’s girl, poignant and shaded

Overlooks the grip of our fascist simulation

 

-read it fast...makes it sound better : ]